Galadriel's Mirror
by faramiriel
Summary: What if Galadriel had failed the test and accepted the Ring when Frodo offered it to her. Totally OOC. Random and goofy.
1. intro

Just the background info so ya know what's going on. I tried to write it, but as soon as I started deviating from the book, it started getting goofy. So I had to droop the intro and let the story be goofy. But I digress. Anyway, when Frodo offered Galadriel the Ring, she accepted, failing the test, and now, about 20 years later, has overthrown Sauron, and has become the beautiful but tyrannical Empress of the World.

My Ringwraiths have begun to develop personalities, so I'll tell you who's who here:

#1: the sarcastic one

#2: the polite one

#3: the deluded one

#4: the insulting one

#5: the singing one

#6: the picky one

#7: the one with PTSD

#8: the complaining one

#9: the smart one

I'll probably be giving them names soon, so in future chapters if you see a bunch of new names, look back here and it'll say which is which.


	2. Mirrors and Wraiths

Galadriel: Mirror, mirror in the tower, don't I look like and elanor flower?

Mirror: thinks No.

Galadriel: No no no no no! Let's try again; Mirror, mirror about to be kilt, isn't this a wonderful tower I've built?

Mirror: looks worried, thinks Sauron did better.

Galadriel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! smashes mirror I think I'll go kill Frodo today. goes to Shire, knocks on Frodo's door

Sam: opens door No solicitors! shoves Galadriel onto Bill the Pony

Bill the Pony: rides away

Sauron: Hello, my lady. I'm still alive! Betcha didn't know that!

Galadriel: You can't have it! Go away! Shoo!

Ringwraith #1: It is my painful duty to chop off your head.

Ringwraith #2: Merely in the way of business, and no offense, I hope?

Ringwraith #3: Why should you get to? I will kill her.

Ringwraith #4: No, me! Me!

Ringwraith #5: I want the precioussssssss...

Ringwraith #6: I would do it, but I might get blood on my dress.

Ringwraith #7: I left my sword in Frodo's shoulder, and I can't afford a new one.

Ringwraith #8: Sauron doesn't pay us very well.

Ringwraith #9: Let's go on strike!

Ringwraiths: ride away, cackling madly

Sauron: Noooooooo! I need you! chases Ringwraiths Come back! Come baaaaaaaaaaack!

Galadriel: bursts into tears I miss my mirror! I think I'll go steal Angelica Baggins'. rides back to Shire, climbs in Angelica's window

Angelica: walks in Aaaaaaaaiiiiiiii! Heeeeeeelp!  
faints

Galadriel: grabs mirror, jumps out window, mirror breaks

Sauron: We meet again!

Galadriel: Leave me alone!

Sauron: My lady, I beg of you a boon. gets on knees Help me find my Ringwraiths! I will give you whatever you desire!

Galadriel: All rigtht! Deal. You can make mirrors for me whenever I break mine. Let's go!

Sauron: Make mirrors! I don't know how to make mirrors!

Galadriel: Idiot.

Sauron: Uglymug.

Galadriel: At least I have a mug.

Sauron: sobs I want my mug!

Galadriel: Perhaps if you make mirrors for me I shall give you a mug.

Sauron: I love you!

Sauron and Galadriel set out upon a quest to find the missing wraiths. Galadriel missed her mirror very much, so Sauron asked everyone they met how to make a mirror, but everyone they met screamed, "It's an eye! Run!" But it was long before they saw any traces of the Ringwraiths.

Hope you liked it! I love reviews!


	3. Wraithish Conversations

A/N: I didn't write the song that #5 sings. It's by George Heap.

The Ringwraiths were very happy. They had left Sauron in the lurch at last, and Sauron not being very smart, they had gotten rather tired of him tagging along all the time. And sitting around a campfire eating very good hobbit mushrooms which they had stumbled across in their journeys, they were most content with their situation. Except for #7. He was the one with post-traumatic stress disorder. He was still afraid of fire. But as he stayed away from the camp in order to avoid it they didn't mind him much.

Ringwraith #5: singing Sauron had some little Rings…

Ringwraith #4: Shut up!

Ringwraith #5: They were very useful things…

Ringwraith #4: Unlike you. And you have a terrible singing voice.

Ringwraith #5: And he only wanted one to keep!

Ringwraith #4: What an idiot!

Ringwraith #5: But Isildur took the One…pauses, shrugs Just to have a little fun…

Ringwraith #1: Oh, yes. Getting killed is such fun, isn't it?

Ringwraith #5: Sauron's finger was inside it. What a creep!

Ringwraith #4: Just like you!

Ringwraith #5: I am not a creep!

Ringwraith #1: Of course not. You're just a wraith. Wraiths aren't creeps at all.

Ringwraith #5 stalks off into the woods to pout

Ringwraith #4: Some people! Go figure.

Ringwraith #6: You mean some wraiths.

Ringwraith #4: Picky, picky. Who cares?

Ringwraith #6: I do. And you should too.

Ringwraiths #4 & 6: stalk off into the woods to pout

Ringwraith #9: Sheesh!

Ringwraith #2: Please, it pains me to hear words that are not in the dictionary.

Ringwraith #9: It is in the dictionary.

Ringwraith #1: What a novel idea! "It" in the dictionary.

Ringwraith #9: I meant sheesh.

Ringwraith #8: Well, it shouldn't be! I don't believe you, anyway.

Ringwraith #9: stalks off into woods to pout, yells back over shoulder Go look it up, ya numbskulls!

Ringwraiths #2 & 6: stalk off into the woods to pout

Ringwraith #1: What are you looking at me like that for?

Ringwraith #3: I don't like being alone with ghosts.

Ringwraith #1: You must be afraid all the time.

Ringwraith #3: No, I'm afraid of ghosts. I am not a ghost. Am I?

Ringwraith #1: remains pointedly silent

Ringwraith #3: No! It's not true! Tell me it isn't true!

Ringwraith #1: continues to remain silent

Ringwraith #3: Nooooooooo! runs off into the woods to digest this information

Ringwraith #1: snickers, walks into the woods to laugh at his companions

TBC

Review, please!


	4. The Questors

And now we return to the questors. Galadriel and Sauron were not enjoying themselves as much as the missing Ringwraiths were, and they were almost as ridiculous. Sauron's nerves were on edge, as they always were without his Ringwraiths, and he still did not know how to make a mirror. Galadriel reminded him daily that the agreement was that she would help find his Ringwraiths i if /i he made mirrors for her. Then Sauron would remind her that if she didn't help him find the Ringwraiths, that when he i did /i find them, it would be all over for her; the Ringwraiths would kill her and he would get the Ring back.

Galadriel: You'll never find you Ringwraiths without my assistance and you know it.

Sauron: I do?

Galadriel: Yes, you do. So you better make me a mirror right now!

Sauron: My lady, you are being unreasonable! snickers evilly Besides, I can always get the Ring back without their help, if I want to.

Galadriel: Well, you don't want to. The Ring is mine! My own! My prrrrecioussssssss…

Sauron: Don't go turning into a Gollum, lady. You're too beautiful for that!

Galadriel: Do you think so?

Sauron: Yes, lady, I do. I adore you. I worship you! I love you with all my heart! Oh Galadriel! Will you marry me and make me the happiest eye in the world?

Galadriel: Marry an eye! Never! I am far too beautiful for you! Besides, I see right through you. You are not going to get the stupid Ring back that way!

Sauron: stars to cry, then stops Stupid! You think it's stupid? Then, you must not think much of it. Why don't you give it to someone who truly values it! Like me! I'd take good care of it. I would never lose it! I would never even let it get a scratch! It would be safe with me!

Galadriel: Sorry, but b NEVER EVER EVER AS LONG AS THE WORLD ENDURES. /b Speaking of which, the world will be much nicer with me than it ever was with you. It will be pink. Or should it be white? The first thing I'm doing when I get home is turning my tower pink. And then I will paint all the towns of the world red and make the Sun ultraviolet and everything will glow in the dark! Oh, won't it be beautiful!

Sauron: Sometimes, lady, I think you are quite as batty as I am.


End file.
